jet lag,happy holidays, and watches

its day 3 of my visit home to the u.s. and i'm finally starting to feel like i'm on a normal schedule. unfortunately i'm fighting off a cold or something, but i think i'll be o.k. . Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! its christmas eve and i can't wait till 24 hours of a christmas story begins (or maybe it already has) how is it that movie never gets old?
so, living in china one can get many things that are knock off versions of designers' stuff. watches, handbags, clothes, etc..... i was quite excited to buy my dad and brother in law knock off rolexes for christmas. now, the term knock off implies these are just cheap copies, however much of the merchandise is made exactly as the originals, its just not the real deal, so its sold extremely discounted. anyway, buying things in china is never an easy task. one must bargain and be prepared to walk away many times. never take a first offer kind of deal. at first it was sort of a game, but as i began buying christmas presents it became an exhausting chore.
i visited the train station which has 5 floors of knock off merchandise and really anything else you could want, including viagra that they will offer to any man that walks by. i went to many stalls selling watches and inspected many,many, many watches and negotiated many, many times trying to get the best quality for the best price. at one point early in my buying journey we visited a store which sells real rolexes to ensure we were getting the best quality fake. i looked and looked and finally found two women who weren't so dodgy and willing to bargain even when i gave a ridiculously low price. (maybe that in itself should have been a warning sign). well, i finally settle on two watches that upon inspection seem to be great quality and represent the truest of rolexes. i pay the money and am completely relieved that i don't have to continue bargaining and i have two great presents. i was quite proud as i left the train station that day and felt i had finally gotten the hang of the buying process in china.
WRONG!!!
my father came to pick me up from the airport as it was a surprise to my mom that i was coming home. he and i were chatting and the subject of fake merchandise came up. he goes on about how he wants a fake rolex and how the second hand should move smoothly (not like a quartz watch which sticks at every second). i gleam with pride as i feel i've gotten the coolest gifts ever for he and my bro in law. the pride soon turns to anxiety as i realize i never really checked out the watches after buying them. why the hell wouldn't i have looked at them before walking out of the damned stall? does the second hand stick? will the clasp break? was there even glass (or crystal in the case of a "rolex") over the face? shit, shit, shit, i should've inspected.
well, i get home and check on my prize christmas presents only to find that the second hand does stick and on one watch the date hasn't changed. not so bad i guess, i'll give them the crappy ones and then get new ones and send them good "A" quality ones, as they say. i continue to have anxiety over these stupid watches, because one, i was really excited that they were the coolest gifts ever, and two, i had been HAD and taken advantage of and my pride was crushed, i had fallen into the dumb ass foreigner trap and had thought myself smarter than that. anyway, i went to check on my poor sickly watches for a second time only to find they DON'T WORK AT ALL. son of a bitch, i need to cry. i certainly realize i'm not the first person to be had and definitely not in china, but here i am on christmas eve with nothing to give the two coolest men in my life :) let this be a warning to you all.
on the other hand, i don't think the spirit of christmas is supposed to be about stuff right?!?!?? ha... i'll catch on to the ways of china eventually. in the meantime, i'm crying over my dead, A quality, fake watches.